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My Wife Has Gained So Much Weight

Written by on October 11, 2022

My wife has gained so much weight. I’ve lost almost all attraction towards her.
Let me start off and be clear. I love my wife. She’s a great person and she balances out my hardened nature with her kindness.
However, I’ve lost pretty much all attraction towards her. When we first met she was never a small gal and that is completely ok, but she has put on probably 200lbs or so since we met. and about 140-150lbs since we’ve been married, and it’s only been 4.5yrs total.
I stopped initiating intercourse gradually, and I honestly didn’t even notice it at first. Not until she broke down and started asking if I was cheating because we hadn’t been deeply intimate for 2-3 weeks. Then I was thinking, “Wow she’s right.” So I started paying more attention, and I really just started noticing why.
The come-to-Jesus moment was when I saw her getting out of the shower, and her stomach flopped over her pelvic area, and her boobs were just resting on her extended stomach. I was just thinking… I have zero interest in my own wife’s body.”
She knows she is overweight. I told her how I’m feeling and that it’s having a direct effect on my physical attraction. I’ve tried encouragement, but ultimately, we’ve fallen back into the sexless marriage routine. She wants kids, and honestly, I can barely maintain an erection during sex, let alone orgasm. I have to pretend I’ve ejaculated, so she is content and doesn’t have an emotional breakdown. I know that is a little bit of enabling, but it seems like that is something I could never tell her.
But I no longer want children with a mother that can’t even go on a hike or do the most mundane physical activities without making an excuse. In a rare instance in my life, I have absolutely no idea what to do. Any ideas on how to broach the subject again with a more successful narrative?
Note: My wife and me are of the same age, 29, and my looks are normal I look fit.